sprained ankle

I'm not good at anything i know...not good a daughter for i don't listen to my parents.not a good sister cause I'm a bad example to my siblings.not a good friend Cause i cant keep a secret.not a good better half for someone for he left me.not a good mother Cause I'm not ready yet.not a good employee for i cant accept even a healthy criticism.not good to myself Cause simply i don't care...

for a black sheep of a family, you think you never did something right.but your family still stays at your back which make you fell guilty of a crime...i did things that i felt will led to brighter side but maybe the time i gave is still not enough.my patience is very short.leave it,try a new one.not happy?,throw it.my decisions sometimes makes situation worst...

anyways life sucks, shit happens, it can bring you damn down, well don't let the life fuck you, fuck the life...yeah. don't let them fool you, let them fooled by you...they envy me for they think i dint take things seriously. but behind those laughters is a shattered scream. so deep emotions and i don't know where it comes from and where it ends. behind the jokes are a real story of hatred and pain reshuffled lines so it sounds clowny. behind the clumsy attitude is a careful character cause it doesn't want to hurt anyone. at the back of the curtain is an actor trying to hide the real her...the true me.

stupid as it may seem.I'm not good at anything...but at least I'm trying...

One of the reasons why im satying with my work is the people coming over to my workplace. My friends asked me if I will come back after my vacation. I said ofcourse. He said “you like the country”. I said no “the country likes me”.

A group of young rich gays who always come to our restaurant give me a touching letter written at the back of our disposable placemat. I just like to share their sweetness to me.lol

I love them so much. And give me more reasons to stay…

I got an invitation in my friendster account this morning. It’s from a stranger. When I saw her location, oh oh… it’s Italy. I got interested but not excited. I hunched the right thing. She is staying with my ex in the same flat in Bresia, Italy. Most of her pictures are with him. Eating, walking, inside the bus even in the bed…haha.

And her shout out is very interesting. With the number of the new girlfriend of ex saying, “those who are married but still wants to fling and play with fire call this number. You will never regret it. She is good in taking things that does not belong to her”…of course I need to see the reaction of the home-wrecking slut, so I viewed her account. I saw their communication in the messages. Ha ha. I think I had revenge somehow.  They are fighting but ended up being too much in love with each other as they are saying. Whew…

They are fighting over a trash. Garbage indeed. That’s why I left him. Now they know why I threw this guy away. He is a lying, bastard, womanizer. Why they are wasting their time over this non-sense? Well maybe now you think I’m taking part in these childish fights. This is the reason why I’m writing this over my blog coz I don’t want to participate in their cheap battle. And letting everyone know that they are all losers and wasting their life. They will realize it eventually. Anyway, I was blind for 7 fucking years with him. He is just my left-over. They are like mongrel dogs. Feeding on someone’s left-over like fishbone inside the trash bin. Eeewww. Feel sorry them.

I have a new roommate. There’s a new batch that came the other day. While my co-host is waiting for the bus service this afternoon, she hears three old staffs talking to the new girls. They are working in one of the company’s restaurants. Well, I know the other girls are intimidated with us because though we are working in one company, we are getting better salaries and privileges than them. My friend told the old staffs are telling the new batch that don’t stick with the people working with us because we are trouble makers, brats, big-headed and have don’t-know-don’t-care attitudes. It is a bit close to reality. So it didn’t affect me or anything. But what my ears got irritated with is when they mention that the girl wearing the skirt, (all of us wearing that), backless or chub top, (not only me), and boots (we all did last winter), the “white boots”!!! Hey, hey, hey…I’m the only one who owns a pair of that in this building. If they mention black or brown (I also have that) I will not react because all my friends have that and I’m the only one who has the guts to wear white ones. Though I know I looked like a majorette in a band at least I know I can carry it. Going back to that story of the girl with “white boots”, according to them, this is the worst girl in the group. She is baring all her skin with her tiny mini micro skirt and reviling top and wore this infamous shoe. She doesn’t care if she went home crawling at the entrance stairs and wake up the sleeping guard to open the automatic door. She is so wicked. Well it is true but they don’t have to broadcast it. That is maybe the reason why my room mate is waiting for me for two nights ago and last night to see if I will go out. But she didn’t succeed to see me wear those bedazzled shoes. Hello…its summer I cannot wear that with 48 degree Celsius temperature outside.

Two months ago, end of winter, a guest asked me if I went out the night before. According to him he saw me in one of the clubs. I thought he is just bluffing. I asked him what I was wearing. I’m expecting for him to answer “gray top”. But he answered “white high-heeled boots”. Definitely it is me…he he.

I asked my friend if she remembers that girl who is giving me a malicious bad reputation to all the new meat coming here and I will show them how bad, harmful, devilish, or worse a lady with the white boots can be...

"you cannot imagine how mush i love you...i love you like heaven"

some one told me this.he is gay.just like a lesbo love.you know...
really you cannot imagine that coz i dont know someone who went to heaven and come back to describe how is up there.

"you are very beautiful"

what a compliment...even it is true or just flowery words, it sounds nice.outside appearance is very important. thats why we doing some effort to be beautiful.when you get this comment, sure you'll extend your deepest gartitude to that person who appreciates you.

"beautifull girls go to hell"

i remember the song by sean kingston that condems beautiful girls. what do a beautiful girl do? she loves to go to clubs cause this is her time to shine. she drinks, she smoke.
she puts on body hugging clothes to show her curves. she puts on nice make up to boost her prettiness. play the color of her eyes to make it more bitchier and naughtier. coz she is pretty too much guys are after him. i remember the movie by lindsay lohan mean girls. ilove this movie. details the life of a beautiful girl. she doesnt want anyone to be prettier on her. steels the famous boyfriend of your best friend, spreading a gossip to anyone who comes her way. cause she knows she is goergous, no guy cant resist her. attract bees, go to hive and make honey.

"every one has two personalities"

beautiful girls are just front and vocal about theirs. which girl does not say anything bad against another girl? whisc lady does not put any effort to make them feel presentable?which of us did not flirt all their life?
those who answers "me" to any of the question will still not be sure that she will go heaven cause they are lying...

ill go to hell...see yah

Maybe you might ask me why I’m “honeyNomore”? think maybe she used too.

Well beside the fact that’s our terms of endearment of my ex which I spend almost half of my life. That he is my first boyfriend and stayed with him since I was 14 and broke up with him 3 years ago, those times that I know the joy and pain of first love.

I can say I’m a honey indeed sweet, young, quite, petite girl that everybody knows. The young lady that the tears are too shallow to fall. An innocent girl who doesn’t want to try anything coz she is afraid too fail and got hurt.

The reason why went to work abroad is to escape from the scene. I’m really in deep shit. And my only solution is to get rid of all the things that might remind me of him.

One time, I have a chance to talk to one of the restaurant manger in a club where I usually hang out with my friends. I always go to his branch. He is hesitating to ask me this some kind of personal question. He told me “I think I saw you in my branch like 6 times?” I just said “yeah maybe I don’t remember”. Then it crosses my mind why he asked. The first time I went there, I was with one Filipino guy. The 2nd time with 1 egyptian.3rd with a Palestinian,4th with a Syrian guy,5th with a Lebanese,6th with a local guy. Maybe he is thinking that I’m bitch or something. Well half true. But anyway it’s a group date. I always bring my friends with me. I winked an eye on him and told him nobody of them passed my qualifications. Well 100% true.

A day after my off my manager send all the girls home coz the bus service is under repair. Before everyone hop inside his car he asked me where I went yesterday. I said somewhere. He said I know who you are with. ahhh. He wants to catch a fish in her own mouth. Ok, I played the fishing game. But really he knows. That day I went out with one football player. Everyone knows this guy. My freaking manager told me that im now a star. How do I assume that no one will recognize me? This country is very small. Everyone knows where I work and he is famous. He doesn’t have negative reactions. But as a joke, trying to tell me that im popular.

When everybody got inside his car, they started to talk about cars and he is planning to buy a coupe. Yeah I saw one. I told him. “You saw one or you rode one?”. My friend trying to be funny interrupted. “How many cars you have rode in?” my manager trying to be a part of the atmosphere. I don’t think it’s funny. Haha. But really. Bmw. Honda, Nissan coupe, land cruiser, gmc, porshe, audi, name it I experienced it.

So I looked at myself in a mirror. This is not-so-me anymore. It all started when my ex broke up with me. Should I blame him? But I like the way I am right now, he made me stronger by breaking my heart. He ended my life and made a better one start. So far…

Anyways, girls just want to have fun

I’m not a “honey” anymore. Lets say, 80% naughty 20% stuck-up bitch, but a 100% “sweety”.  But there is still soft side of me remaining inside. I know. If I found someone to love me like I loved him…if only...

Someday, you'll gonna realize...
Oneday, you'll see this through my eyes,
By then, I wont even be there,
I'll be happy somewhere,
Even if I cared...

I know you dont really see my worth...
You think you're the last guy on earth
We'll I've got news for you...
I know Im not that strong,
But it wont take long, wont take long...

Coz someday someones gonna love me,
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone's gonna take your place
One day, I'll forget about you
You'll see i wont even miss you
Someday, someday

Right now, I know you can tell
Im down and Im not feeling well
Oneday, these tears they will all run dry,
I wont have to cry,
Sweet goodbye...

Someday, I know someone's gonna be there...

lets start with Mitch...she is the "legs".she have the biggest legs.but Michelle is not only known because of her infamous assets.a fighter indeed.she will raise her voice whoever is in front her.whether you are a supervisor,restaurant manager,kitchen manager or even the general manager,she doesn't give a damn.also she only go for Filipino guys.take note only CUTE Filipino guys.you will not throw any of her exes.i know also what is her most unforgettable first in this country.lol

then there is Valerie...the queen of qube.she influenced me in such many ways.sponsorship is the key for enjoyment.before,when she wants to go out,she will ask me to go with her as a chaperon.i learned to much from her.she drinks a lot.whoa...like a man, i swear.but when she got drunk,she will go sleeping face to face with the toilet bowl.crying without a reason.ha ha.the next day,she will tell you i will not go out for a while.but when somebody asked her to go,she cannot say no.she also go for cute young Filipino guys.

my batch mate rhea...she is a cute,snobbish,quite girl(in her dreams)he he.but this girl is the best cooked in our flat.and a baby sitter for those one's who doesn't know their limits and go crawling in the floor because of being too much in the influence of alcohol.she likes pinoys too but have an eye for the Americans."no Arabs"as she said.but i told her you will eat your words.maybe she did...

we have Nikki...the lady who wants to have debate.like Mitch,she will fight for the truth,equality and fairness.he he.but what's nice about her?she is a 1-woman-man.you will not see her with other man.but beware,when she got drunk,she will go by her own on the streets with her shorts,find a taxi,and fucked anyone on her way.seemems normal but not in the middle east.alcohol has a different effect on her.she become very strong.she can wreck your shirt.ha ha

and then you have me "Naughty Shorty"as they said..well anyone knows me.as my manager told me I'm very famous in Doha.ha ha.I'm just a simple oriental girl who went to middle east and work as a hostess.but when its our night,I'm a bfh(bitch from hell)ha ha.

well the birds with the same feathers flock together.

i love my girlfriends as they love me.